January Bonus Review: Xyber 9

I’ve reviewed quite a few obscure cartoons over the years. This time we’re looking at Saban’s Sci-fi work from the late 90s, Xyber 9: New Dawn. Interestingly enough, only the first ten episodes aired initially in the US before the show was cancelled. But the thing aired in its entirety in Ireland and in 2007 Disney aired the entire thing as part of its Jetix line-up. So, this show refused to die but my question is whether or not it was worth saving. Let’s have a look.

Story:

In the distant future, two monarchs, King Renard & Queen Tatania, are waging a war. Renard is being supported by the shadowy figure, Machestro. An unaffiliated boy named Jack gets caught up in the middle of a battle and discovers an ancient piece of powerful technology, this is the titular Xyber 9. This is bad news for Jack since Machestro will stop at nothing to possess the Xyber.

Let’s start with the big narrative issues with the show. First of all, the show is really bad about expanding on its story elements. For example, we know the Xybers are ancient technology but there’s never anything to explain why they’re considered so powerful or why Xyber 9 itself is in such high demand. It has knowledge about the ancient world and it can interface with technology. That’s about all we see. And Machestro doesn’t want it for its knowledge. But we see some pretty advanced technology from him and his subjects so it begs the question of why he can’t have his people design something else that can interface with various technology. The show also never explains how the whole situation started. How did King Renard fall under Machestro’s control? How did the entire war start? I feel like this is one of those rare shows that actually would have benefited from a flashback heavy episode or two. The romance aspect is also pretty bad. They basically put Jack in a love triangle and have his potential love interests take jabs at each other like they’re in a bad sitcom instead of a sci-fi adventure.

Another problem is with the ending. It’s legitimately awful. They shoehorn in this weird message about pacifism being the true way and force a very unsatisfying climax with it. They also pull a rescue for one of the characters out their ass. You remember how the Owl House crew knew their last season was going to be cut short and did their utmost to tie up everything in a satisfactory way and they largely succeeded? This feels more like they had all the episodes made except for the very last one when they found out they weren’t getting more and they just had to try and cram everything in there. Which may have been what happened. Maybe they had twenty one made when they initially got cancelled from American television and they just rushed a final one to give their Irish viewers a conclusion. Either way, it’s a rubbish ending.

I wish I could say that the series at least had some good ideas in its plot but it really doesn’t. The whole setup with the factions waging war and a powerful MacGuffin emerging that can turn the tide is pretty generic. As is the whole concept of the monarch being controlled by a shadowy Puppet master. And Xyber 9 isn’t exactly a better example of this type of story. It takes those elements in a heavily simplified direction. And you might argue “But it’s for kids. It has to be simple.” To that I would say, nonsense. There’s a difference between presenting a story in a way that’s digestible for kids and presenting a story that’s not challenging or complex in any way. This is something that the best children’s cartoons I’ve reviewed like Gravity Falls, The Owl House, She-Ra and The Princesses of Power & X-men all understood. It’s not something Xyber 9 understands.

Characters:

The characters largely suffer from the same problems as the narrative. They’re painfully generic and shallow. Jack is a cocky little shite. Xyber 9 is the sagacious guide. Ikira is the old mentor. Anakonda is the action girl love interest. Mick is the scoundrel who we’re supposed to find charming but he just comes across as a douchebag. Willy is the taciturn giant. Machestro is the evil one. You get the idea.

There are three characters who could have been significantly more interesting based on what little we get of their back stories. The first is Ikira. The man was part of Machestro’s forces but was abandoned and left to die which led to his revelation that his people have a virus that makes them sensitive to the sunlight but that the virus is treatable. The issue is that the show barely touches on this nor do we know shit about his people and their culture beyond them serving Machestro and having this virus. Does Ikira have a family he might want to get back to? Friends he could reach out to? Do his people even have cities or do they just hang around in the tunnels? These questions will never be addressed. The second character is Anakonda. She was raised by snakes, can turn invisible, rides a giant bat creature, can soothe wild animals and comes from some kind of naturalist tribe. On its surface, that could be a very compelling character concept. But, like with Ikira, we get very little about her people and culture. Instead she’s just the action girl part of Jack’s love triangle. Finally, we have Princess Roselyn. A naïve girl who learns that her father is a tyrant and decides to help the resistance against him. Maybe not the most original concept, but it’s definitely one that can be very interesting. But the show pretty much reduces her to the second part of Jack’s love triangle and largely treats her actions as being more for him than they are for moral concerns.

Another thing worth mentioning is that Machestro’s evil plan is really fucking stupid. Basically, he wants to block out all sunlight so that he and the others with sensitivity to it can emerge from the darkness and rule the world. Ignoring that they couldn’t actually survive very long with zero sunlight and that it would be much easier to go through the same curative process Ikira did.

Art:

The art isn’t bad. The character designs are decent enough. The CG integration looks fine. The action sequences flow pretty well. The animation can be a little janky at times but it’s not noticeable enough to be a major issue.

Sound:

The voice acting in this varies. You have people like Rene Auberjonois, Nika Futterman, Chris Marquette & Tim Curry who all do really well. Then you have people who are just okay. You also have people who are kind of obnoxious in their delivery like Jolie Jenkins, Quinton Flynn & Jason Marsden.

The music is pretty good. David Ari Leon did a solid job with it.

Areas of Improvement:

1: They really needed to do a better job of expanding on their world, the scenario and the character’s backgrounds. I truly believe that a more relaxed, gradual pacing would have made for a more engaging, and compelling show. Maybe then people would have tuned in for it.

2: They really should have given Anakonda and Roselyn personalities and interest outside of Jack before worrying about setting up their stupid love triangle.

3: Machestro’s plan really needs a lot of fine tuning in order for it to make even some semblance of sense. You can’t just rely on your audience not noticing the flaws. No, not even if your target audience is children.

Final Thoughts:

I understand why this cartoon was canceled early on. It takes some very generic ideas, pairs them with generic character tropes and executes them in a dumb way, It seems like an example of a cartoon that didn’t bother putting in much effort because they assumed children would watch it for the bright colours, robots and action. I’m giving this one a 3/10. It’s really not worth tracking down.

July Bonus Review: Phantom 2040

I’ve looked at a lot of super hero works over the years. Both in bonus reviews and in anime form. Some of it has been stellar, some of it absolute rubbish and some of it pretty mediocre. This time around I wanted to look at one of the oldest super heroes out there. We’re talking about a character who predates Superman himself by a good two years. Of course I’m talking about the lord of the jungle, the hero who stalks, the beast calling brother, the ghost who walks: The Phantom. (Supes first appearance was in mid 1938, Phantom’s was early 1936.) The specific work I’m going to look at for this iconic hero is the mid 90s cartoon, Phantom 2040.

Story:

The year is 2040 and Earth is a dystopian nightmare with mega corporations shortsightedly draining resources and making the world increasing inhospitable for humans. I feel like there might be more reality to this show than most would want to admit. In any case, Kit Walker is a University student when he encounters a wise man named Guran who claims to have known his father and tells Kit that it’s time for him to carry his family’s legacy and become the next Phantom. Kit reluctantly agrees when it becomes clear that the mega corporation, Maximum Inc, had something to do with his father’s disappearance and they’re planning something that could have dire consequences for the world.

Let’s start with the big issue here. The main problem with this series is that it has a lot of elements that don’t really come together all that well. There are story elements that get ret-conned, there are big hooks that never get fully explored. It feels like the writers had the plug pulled on the show too quickly and had to wrap things up as neatly as they could or got replaced mid-production.

With that being said, there are a lot of strong elements to this narrative. The environmental message is handled with actual subtlety and nuance, unlike a lot of cartoons from that era that tackled similar subject matter. The series also tackles some other complex subjects like what differentiates artificial intelligence from sapience or how much a person’s basic humanity can be suppressed or enhanced in an extremely difficult situation depending on the person. The series also isn’t afraid to show some darker material with character deaths and some morally complicated questions like “Are there circumstances where taking a life becomes necessary and the morally correct thing to do?”

Characters:

There are a lot of pretty compelling characters in this. Kit engages with his family history and his role within the Phantom’s legacy in an interesting way. Guran plays the mentor but also holds a lot of guilt and blames himself for what happened to Kit’s father. Sparks wants to be a normal kid but also has a lot of adult responsibilities that have been thrust on him. Sagan undergoes a very engaging transition in how she views both Kit and the Phantom while also learning to question what exactly is the best way to carry out justice. Then we’ve got Heisenberg, a robot, excuse me, biot, who gains sentience and is able to pass that sapience on to other biots and begins pushing for rights and liberties for this new sentient species. I think David Cage outright ripped this whole plot line off for Marcus in Detroit. Which kind of makes me want to go back and give it an even lower rating.

The antagonists are also pretty complex. The Madison family may be doing some incredibly shady shit, but they’re also trying to save themselves and those closest to them from the Earth’s inevitably deterioration. Then we have Graft, a good man who basically lost everything trying to protect the Amazon Rainforest and became a tool for Rebecca Madison. We also have Vaingloria, a former street urchin who fell in with Maximum due to their promises of food, shelter and fame.

Art:

There are parts of the art I really like. The future tech looks cool, the action flows well, and the Phantom costume is great. And I mean that, the purple with the domino mask and skull belt/rings is a classic look but with some added accents to distinguish this version of the character from his predecessors.

There are also parts of the artwork I’m not too fond of. The human characters look kind of odd, especially in moments of intense emotion. The animals also look a bit bizarre, especially Max Madison Jr’s cat, Baudelaire. There are also times where the art kind of fucks with the plot. To give an example, there’s an episode where Maximum unleashes a shape-shifting biot, which eventually gains sentience and starts calling himself Heisenberg, and use him to try and ruin the Phantom’s reputation. Obviously, this involves him turning into the Phantom but with minty green skin. How can no one tell the difference between this guy and the real Phantom?

Sound:

The acting is solid. They got some great talents like Mark Hamill and Rob Paulsen but they also got some people who go more cartoony with their lines. Which is a bit out of place when so much of the series is dealing with semi-serious issues and actually employing subtlety. The music is okay. It’s not exactly amazing but it works fine.

Areas of Improvement:

1. They really needed to have some idea of where they were going with major plot points from the start so that we could get some stronger resolutions.

2. More consistency would have been very much appreciated.

3. When you’re dealing with issues that are a bit more complex and nuanced, you really need performances that match. Even in a cartoon that’s mainly intended for children.

Final Thoughts:

Phantom 2040 is kind of an under-rated classic. It may not be at the same level as some of the better known 90s super hero cartoons like X-men, Batman or Spider-man but it’s still a solid entry. I’m giving it a 7/10. I would go higher but it does, unfortunately, kind of fizzle out at the end and develop a consistency problem which does hurt it somewhat. I still do recommend it for super hero fans. Aesthetically, it kind of reminds me of Batman Beyond and that is most definitely not a bad thing.

June Bonus Review: The Owl House

Now, I like to think of every month as Pride month and I will proudly support the LGBT population at any time. I don’t extend that to certain people who are complete twats like Caitlyn Jenner, but those of you who are decent people are beautiful, fabulous and I love you. But this is technically Pride month so I thought I’d look at something related.

Imagine my surprise when I heard that Disney had released a very pro-LGBT cartoon with queer romance, non-binary characters and a lot of other good stuff. The same company that wouldn’t let Lexington have a boyfriend in the Gargoyles cartoon but hid his man away in the spin-off comics they never advertised? The same company that wouldn’t let Gravity Falls have the background LGBT content that Alex Hirsch wanted to include? I’m sceptical, but let’s have a look.

Story:

Luz Noceda is a strange girl. She’s interested in magic, flowery books and gets very invested in creative stuff. Her mum decides to send her to a camp where she can learn practical, real world skills. Which sounds boring but is probably still better than the Bible camp I used to get sent to. But before she can get sent away she follows a magical owl through a strange doorway and finds herself Isekai’d to a magical place called the Boiling Isles. Naturally, she decides to stay and learn magic so that she can be a witch. She meets some friends, gets to attend a school of magic and has all kinds of magical adventures with her mentor, Eda the Owl Lady and the adorable demon, King. But not all is eerily beautiful on the Isles, there’s a tyrannical Emperor named Belos who seems to be planning something huge.

The only issue I have with the writing is that the final season seems a bit rushed. Dana Terrace and the rest of the writing staff definitely would have benefited from more time to flesh things out. Unfortunately, Disney decided to pull the plug early in spite of the series being highly regarded and pretty popular. I’m sure the reason why has absolutely nothing to do with the LGBT content. And if you believe that, I have a line of Condominiums in Heaven and I’ll sell you one for only 100k Euros. Make the most of your afterlife.

With that being said, however. The writers do do a fantastic job of making maximum use of the limited time they do have in the final season. They get in some cute scenes and tie up all the important story elements in a satisfying way and they deliver an amazing ending in spite of their limited runtime. The series also excels at foreshadowing. There are so many examples of background objects and dialogue that seem like innocuous fluff but then they have a massive payoff within the plot. I get the distinct impression that every important plot point was somewhat fleshed out very early on and that allowed the writers to sneak in little hints at them. The world building is also phenomenal. The Boiling Isles are such a bizarre, otherworldly place but they’re also incredibly fleshed out and have a lot of strong details behind their history, the magic system and the social structure.

The writers also deserve a lot of credit for imbuing the series with some amazing humour. It’s very stylistically reminiscent to the gags in Gravity Falls but slightly better in terms of execution. And Gravity Falls was hilarious. Another big part of the series is this underlying theme that you can’t judge things based solely on appearances. There’s so much horrific looking imagery that turns out to be innocent and wholesome and there are so many scenarios that start out looking like one thing but shift into something completely different. Some of them you can kind of guess once you get used to the writing aesthetic but there are others that only really make sense in hindsight. A great example is with the stuff leading up to Yesterday’s Lie and the payoff thereof.

Characters:

The characterisation in this series is fantastic. It starts out a little bit slow. For the first six episodes it looks like it’s going to be a bit standard but then they start shifting the script, giving the characters more complexity and motivations to explain why they are the way they are. At that point we start seeing the true brilliance of the character writing. I also appreciate that our young heroes are allowed to have childish flaws and vulnerabilities but it’s superbly executed and under-stated. Whereas a lot of media would just make them annoying little shits, this one lets them express those aspects of childhood while also making them some of the most endearing characters out there.

The interactions are top notch. The blossoming romance with Luz and Amity is executed flawlessly. Luz’s friendships with Gus and Willow are great. The whole dynamic with Eda and her sister, Lilith is highly compelling. Eda and Luz end up with a really interesting familial dynamic. Hunter develops some really strong bonds with most of the major characters. King is a fantastic character with some really interesting relationships with the others. Especially Luz and Eda. Luz’s relationship with her mother is also perfectly handled. I actually love all the major characters and some of the minor ones like Tinella Nosa, Vee and Steve.

I have to also give the writers a lot of credit for the major antagonists. Specifically, Belos, Kikimora and Odalia. These characters aren’t likeable and don’t really have redeeming qualities. However, they are all bad in ways that are realistic. Belos is a zealot who is absolutely convinced that what he’s doing is heroic. Kikimora is a very sycophantic person who wants nothing more than Belos’ favour. Odalia is a savage businesswoman who just doesn’t give a shit about anyone but herself and her family.

Art:

The artwork in this is honestly breathtaking. It might not have the most complex/ detailed style but the environments, character designs and animation (especially during big scenes) are all so imaginative and perfectly executed that the series ends up just looking fantastic.

Sound:

The performances in this are really good. Sarah Nicole Robles, Mae Whitman, Alex Hirsch, Tati Gabrielle, Wendie Malick, Cissy Jones, Isaac Ryan Brown, Matthew Rhys and the rest of the cast all deliver excellent performances. They can deliver humorous lines perfectly and also execute more sombre, serious moments with ease. The music is flawless. Brad Breeck and TJ Hill absolutely killed it.

Ho-yay:

There’s more than I expected, even after hearing people talk about the series. We obviously have the big romance with Luz & Amity. Which is ceaselessly adorable and perfect in every way. There are also some hints of romance with Eda and the non-binary Raine. We also get some with Vee and the non-binary Masha. Willow has two dads and there are some hints that Amity’s dad may have had a thing with the male coven head Darius at some point. Amity’s sister also flirts with Luz a little bit, before Luz starts dating her sister. And we know Amity’s brother has a date with a non-binary person at some point but we don’t know anything about them.

Areas of Improvement:

1. The series should have been longer.
2. The series should have been longer.
3. Seriously, Disney, this needed a proper twenty six episode third season.

Final Thoughts:

This is legitimately among the best cartoons I’ve ever seen. The writing is clever, expertly executed and well thought out. The characters are top-tier with fantastic interpersonal dynamics. The art, animation and acting are all superb. I actually enjoyed this more than Gravity Falls. I’m giving it an enthusiastic 10/10. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it. Especially to fans of Gravity Falls (since the writing aesthetic and humour are pretty similar), fantasy fans and those of us who think the LGBT community deserves more representation.

May Bonus Review: Transformers Prime

I’ve talked about the Transformers franchise before. Twice. It’s something I grew up with and I still have some Beast Wars toys lying around. It’s also a franchise I would generally classify as being pretty solid when hack director Michael Bay isn’t involved. Any way, in 2010 Hasbro began airing episodes of Transformers Prime on the HUB network. How does it compare to the general franchise? I’m guessing not as good as Beast Wars but better than anything by the massive hack, Michael Bay but that covers a huge range.

Story:

The story of Prime takes some beats from the original series. Optimus Prime and his Autobots are waging a secret war against the Decepticons with the help of the United States government. There are some big differences. The cast of characters is much smaller, Cybertron is a wasteland and the Transformers themselves are actually operating in secret with the average human not knowing they exist. Except for a trio of literal children who find out by mistake.

Let’s start with the narrative issues with the series. The first is that the series spends far too much time on the human children and their mundane problems. Especially in the early series. We get to hear all about Jack’s bully and the girl he likes. We also get to learn about Miko’s school troubles. Because all that mundane shite is so much more compelling than the secret war being waged by giant robots. The second issue has to do with a Decepticon named Airachnid. I don’t want to get into heavy spoilers so let’s just say that the final scene with her leaves a lot of questions that never get answered. The third issue has to do with the series being surprisingly toothless. Keep in mind, this is a series that opens with an Autobot being murdered and zombie Transformers, Prime‘s version of the Terrorcons, being weaponized by Megatron. But aside from that, the series is very adverse to having any of the major heroes get killed. Beast Wars has more heroes get killed than Prime does, and they don’t lose their first heroic character until mid second series. It also handles its character death a hell of a lot better. You would think, given the way the series starts, it would have a lot more tension and feature significantly more tragedy.

With that being said, the pacing is pretty solid and there’s always something interesting going on. The series also does do a good job with world building. There’s a lot of information about Cybertron and the events in the war that came before. There’s also much ado about the connection betwixt Cybertron and Earth. The power struggles within the Decepticon army are very intricate. All of which serve to make the show more interesting.

Characters:

This series has one of the same big failings as the original. Crappy human characters who get shoe-horned into events and then need rescuing constantly and take time away from the far more interesting giant robots.

With that said, the transformers themselves are great. They all have compelling back stories, a decent level of complexity and some really well crafted dynamics. The idea of Arcee suffering from Survivor’s guilt or Bumblebee having a disability from a battlefield injury lend elements of tragedy to the characters that do help flesh them out. And it’s definitely a case where having fewer major characters, particularly on the Autobots side, allows for more development. They definitely took a cue from Beast Wars on that one. And it’s not just the Autobots. Starscream is a very interesting character in this. He’s played up as being highly opportunistic and willing to stab someone in the back or schmooze them depending on what he thinks will benefit him and I appreciate that this version of Megatron reacts to him more realistically than the original where he just tolerated Starscream’s constant insubordination with only some petty bickering.

Art:

I’m a bit torn on the art style for this one. On the positive side, the series has some amazing details and the action sequences are really good. The big issue I have is with the designs themselves. Whether Transformer or human, the characters in this have bizarre proportions and faces that just look weird. The bots have these hole mouths that move very awkwardly and glowing eyes that seem like they’re trying to convey emotion but it doesn’t quite work. It’s always just a bit off. As weird as it is, I think the bots actually looked better in Beast Wars with its very primitive CGI or even in the original series when they all had those carved, statuesque faces. There’s just something uncomfortably uncanny valley about them here.

Sound:

The voice acting is really good. We get some classic portrayals from the likes of Frank Welker and Peter Cullen. Steve Blum makes a brilliant Starscream. Kevin Michael Richardson, Sumalee Montano, Jeffrey Combs, Gina Torres and more all deliver really strong performances. They even have a brief guest voice from George Takei. The music is really good too.

Areas of Improvement:

1. If you’re going to open up with a darker aesthetic, you need to actually own it and not immediately dial it back.
2. We do not need important human characters in this franchise. Literally no one likes the human characters. We all just want to see the giant robots.
3. Can we make these faces less ugly?

Final Thoughts:

Transformers Prime is a pretty solid series. It might not be the best Transformers series out there but it’s definitely up there. I would actually give this one a very solid 8/10. If you’re a fan of the robots in disguise, it’s definitely worth a watch. Even with the writing being clumsy at times, the human characters taking up far too much screen time and the bizarre facial designs.

January Bonus Review: Spider-man the animated series

Spider-man is one of the biggest Marvel super heroes out there and one of the most mistreated when you look at events like One More Day and Dying Wish. But before those events were terrible ideas that got green-lit due to what I like to call dumbass editors, the character was highly beloved and got a lot of attention in video games, spin-offs and adaptations. The one I’m looking at today started airing in 1994 and followed the success of the masterpiece X-men cartoon that began airing two years prior. This will be the third Spidey cartoon I’ve looked at after Unlimited and Spectacular Spider-man. Let’s hope it’s also the best.

Story:

Peter Parker used to be an average student until he was bitten by a radioactive spider and gained spider powers. After the tragic death of his uncle Ben he learned that he had to use those powers responsibly. We all know the origin by now. The main difference in this particular cartoon is that they tie it into an experimental science called Neogenics which also ties into a lot of the villain origins and story arcs within the cartoon.

The biggest issue with the writing in the cartoon is that they repeat the whole “My uncle Ben used to tell me, with great power there must also come great responsibility” line a lot and there are several flashbacks with him that get shown a lot as well. Now, I do understand it from a character perspective. This is Peter’s mantra and the flashbacks are showing defining moments from his life. However, it can get tiring from a viewing perspective. Especially when you’re watching multiple episodes in a row. The Secret War event in this is also over-simplified. A big part of what made the comic version so good is that it separated characters based on their motivations in this it’s just Good vs Evil with no real definition for the terms.

With that out the way, there are a lot of elements that make this a stellar Spider-man cartoon. A lot of its events are solid adaptations of comic events. It has some very intense moments like the whole Man-Spider arc or the Daredevil appearance where Peter gets accused of treason. The series starts out being episodic before doing the same thing as the X-men cartoon where there are ongoing plots and episodes may or may not be connected to them. Which doesn’t work as well with this as it did in that cartoon but it comes close.

Characters:

There’s a pretty significant cast. In addition to Spidey’s side cast with Aunt May, Harry Osborn, Mary Jane, Felicia Hardy, Jonah Jameson, Robbie, Terry Lee and Dr. Mariah Crawford there’s a massive rogue’s gallery and a lot of side characters who appear to help Spidey out of various situations including the X-men, Daredevil, The Punisher, Captain America and Nick Fury. Especially Nick Fury, he’s a semi-regular character. Most of them are handled really well in terms of their characterisation. It’s also worth noting that, unlike Unlimited, Spidey himself is excellently written in this. He’s quick-witted, clever and delivers some fantastic one liners. Unlike the fucking Phys Ed “quip” from Unlimited. The Black Cat is also an amazing character in this.

The Fantastic Four is a bit of an exception. This cartoon has the same problem as a lot of Silver Age comics where it unintentionally makes Dr. Doom look like an amazing leader and the good old FF looks kind of petty. I mean, he creates an idyllic society on the alien planet the Beyonder drops them on and gives The Thing the ability to transform into his normal, human self.

Art:

The artwork in this blends traditional and CG elements and they don’t always work well together. There are also some noticeable art mistakes and it’s worth noting that the X-men don’t exactly look like they do in their own series when they appear here. Every character is just a bit off and it’s a bit weird. You’d think they could use the X-men cartoon, which had already been running for years, as an example. The Punisher is another weird one. Normally he wears black with his skull emblem but in this cartoon they give him a bright teal outfit for some reason.

With that being said, this cartoon largely looks good. Spidey, his rogue’s gallery, and most of the side characters look like their comic counter-parts. The animation flows well and a lot of the action sequences are appropriately intense and neat looking. Even though it does that American cartoon thing where bullets are replaced by laser beams. Which I maintain is bizarre for a country that’s so obsessed with real life guns.

Sound:

The acting in this is pretty solid. Christopher Barnes, Sara Ballantine, Jennifer Hale, Linda Gary, Majel Barret, Jim Cummings, David Warner, Mark Hamill and many other talented voice actors worked on this. The only real criticism I have is that there are a few very intense moments where Barnes goes overboard. A great example being the notorious “Get Back here Shocker! Shocker, you can’t escape me, I’ll chase you to the ends of the Earth.” line during the symbiote story arc. The music is fantastic. The theme tune in particular rocks.

Areas of Improvement:

1. Fewer flashbacks or more varied flashbacks would have been nice.
2. Give the Punisher his proper costume. Teal is such a weird colour to use. Especially when the character is supposed to be operating low profile.
3. Barnes should have used a bit more nuance during those intense, shouting scenes. The way he does it is just too much.

Final Thoughts:

While Spider-man the animated series isn’t on the level of, say, X-men or some other super hero cartoons, it’s still excellently done with strong episodes, a great sense of adventure, and the best depiction of Spidey himself that I can recall from any adaptation. Taken as a whole, I’ll give it a 9/10.

December Bonus Review #3: Police Academy- The Animated Series

There was a point in time where American animation studios were picking up a lot of completely not child friendly properties and turning them into cartoons for children. I’ve reviewed one of these, Mortal Kombat, already. Now, we’re looking at a choice that’s just as baffling. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Police Academy films, they were a series of raunchy adult comedy films mostly aired throughout the mid to late 80s with the seventh and final one airing in 1994. And when executives at Warner Brothers and Ruby-Spears heard the words “raunchy comedy” they obviously knew that they had to turn this property into a cartoon for kids. Note, I’m only going to be looking at the first series of the cartoon. It had a second but I’m not going that deep into it unless you guys really want a follow up.

Story:

We follow Carey Mahoney and his group of misfit officers as they solve various bizarre crimes. All while Captain Harris plots to have their badges as he considers them a nuisance. So, instead of having zany cop hijinks with raunchy jokes, we have zany cop hijinks with goofy jokes.

I have to say, this cartoon wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Yes, the humour is very childish but it’s also a cartoon for kids. And If I’d been able to speak English as a child and watched this, I probably would have found it pretty funny. Jokes like an operatic diva falling for a guy because she can see her own reflection in his sunglasses or a baby driving a police car or Zed wearing a tutu and blonde wig to go undercover as a female wrestler would have appealed to me at that age. There are definitely jokes that wouldn’t have gotten a reaction from me too. Like the whole joke about House constantly eating. Yeah, I get it. He’s fat but I feel like there are a lot of fat jokes out there that are much more clever than just “fat guy eats constantly.” Another one is all the random bazookas. We have bazookas that fire dogs as projectiles or shoes or ice cream. There are so many much more clever gags to make about spy style gadgets than just pick a random thing and make a bazooka that fires it. It’s like the writers weren’t really trying which they probably weren’t.

One element that really doesn’t work in this cartoon is the public service announcements at the end of every episode. I know, this was a thing that American cartoons had to do because there was some weird standard about cartoons having to have a set amount of educational content. That doesn’t change the fact that these messages are dumb. And some of them are just bizarre. For example, in one of these we see Callahan looking for hiding cadets and she finishes checking various areas like under the bed or in the closet by telling us that we can’t hide from a fire. Was that actually a problem in American households? Were children actually trying to hide from fires? Is this why the American government had to ban Kinder Eggs because kids over there are just really stupid?

The cartoon also features a lot of moments where you’re just expected to not think. Very first episode we have a gang of clowns. They frame Sweetchuck, Zed and House for their crimes in spite of us seeing the aforementioned three cops in pursuit of them with witnesses. Yeah, no one would notice that little switch. It always bothers me in these kids cartoons when they just act like children don’t know how to think. Then again, they also find it necessary to tell kids not to hide from a fire by crawling under their bed.

Characters:

The characters are simplified versions of their film counter-parts that largely rely on simple quirks. Jones does sound effects and knows karate. Tackleberry and Callahan are obsessed with firepower. Hightower is big and strong. Hooks is small and soft-spoken. Zed is dumb. Sweetchuck is clumsy and a bit of a wimp. House is fat. Mahoney is mischievous. I suppose the quirks work well enough for a more comedic series made for kids although they should still have stronger interactions.

One thing I do like about the way they handle their characters is that they do a pretty decent job of making all nine of their major characters consistently useful and giving them things to do. So if you were a fan of a particular character you would get plenty of chances to see them in action.

As for the antagonists, they have the same major flaws that the villains in that Hasbro C.O.P.S cartoon did. They don’t have any subtlety and will quickly expose themselves as villains with little or no prodding. They’re just evil for the evils.

Art:

The art is pretty mediocre. This is one of those cartoons where they recycle footage and there are stretches where characters will barely move to save money. The animation is also a bit awkward and choppy. The character designs look like they wanted them to resemble the film versions but they didn’t want to use the actor likenesses. Which was probably the case since they would have had to pay the actors if the cartoon characters had looked like them.

Sound:

The acting has the issue that a lot of American cartoons of this era suffered from. Each character type has a specific voice associated with them. So, Zed sounds like the dumb character. House sounds like the fat character and so on. They’re very much performances that leave no room for nuance or subtlety. The music is fine. Although, with the theme tune, I can’t understand half the words. The singer runs them together in a weird way during portions of the song that make them virtually incomprehensible.

Areas of Improvement:

1. Put some more effort into the gags. Just because it’s for children, doesn’t mean your jokes have to be low effort. Lots of more comedy focused cartoons for kids have had effort put into them.
2. Make the major characters a bit more complex and interesting.
3. Get your singer to take the marbles out of his mouth.

Final Thoughts:

As bizarre as the concept of a cartoon based off of a raunchy adult comedy is, I actually think this is a stronger cops and robbers style cartoon than C.O.P.S was. It does a better job of letting all the characters shine and using them consistently. The comedic tone makes it more enjoyable to watch and gives it some more leeway for the cartoon stupidity when the writers don’t quite think things through. It’s still not a good cartoon but it’s actually pretty decent. I was expecting another cartoon I could tear to shreds like I did with Mortal Kombat but I’m actually going to give this one a 6/10. Maybe try a few episodes if you’re morbidly curious.

September Bonus Review: Star Trek The Animated Series

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of the Star Trek franchise. The original series, Next Generation and Deep Space 9 all hold a special place in my heart. Especially Next Gen which I would personally count as one of the greatest sci-fi series ever made. But there’s a piece of Star Trek history that frequently gets overlooked to the point where a lot of people don’t know it even existed, the animated series based off of the original series. This cartoon only ran for twenty two episodes in the early 70s as a follow up to the adventures of the original crew. Let’s have a look.

Story:

We all know the basic premise of Star Trek, even those among us who haven’t seen a single episode. Space is the final frontier and these are the voyages of the Enterprise. Which seeks to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilisations and to boldly go where no one has gone before. The cartoon is a set of further adventures for the crew after the original series ended.

The cartoon’s biggest problem is actually the exact same issue the original series suffers from. Mainly that it can be overly corny and cheesy. It may not have any single example as egregious as Spock’s brain being stolen as a super computer but it does have Spock’s mind being split between his regular body and the body of a giant clone as well as an episode where they cross over into another universe that follows the laws of magic.

With that being said, the series also shares the originals’ biggest strengths and the two major factors that have made it so beloved even after fifty+ years. First off, a lot of the episodes do have philosophical undercurrents and explorations that are quite fascinating. They are slightly toned down since it goes for a younger demographic but they’re definitely still present. The second big thing is that, even though it can be overtly goofy, it’s a lot of fun and consistently entertaining.

Characters:

Most of the cast from the original series is present. Captain Kirk, Spock, Scotty, Dr. McCoy, Uhura, Sulu, even Nurse Chapel. The only character we don’t see is Chekov. Instead we get two alien characters Arex, who looks a bit like ET and M’Ress, a lioness looking character. The new characters are fine but the ones you’ll really be watching for are the classics both because of their prominence in the original series and because they get a lot more screen time. Arex and M’Ress are both firmly relegated to minor support roles. The animated series also has less development for their single episode characters as a result of the episodes having half the runtime and not being able to do as much in that regard.

Art:

The artwork is definitely dated and it uses a lot of techniques to cut down on animation like prolonged shots and recycling images. That being said, the cartoon does have a big advantage over the original series. Namely that they can go further in terms of making characters and locations that look truly alien. There are some amazing designs in that regard that were definitely ahead of their time.

Sound:

The main cast from the original series all reprise their roles. Shatner, Nimoy, Kelley, Nichols, Takei, Doohan, & Barret all do excellently. It’s worth noting that both Doohan and Barret pull extra duty with Doohan voicing Arex as well as a shit load of minor roles and Barret voicing M’Ress, the Enterprise computer and others. The music is in line with the original series’. Which is definitely a positive.

Final Thoughts:

Is Star Trek the animated series worth tracking down and watching? It is if you’re a fan of the original series. It has the same kind of entertainment factor, excellent voice work and a lot of really strong moments. It’s also definitely nice to follow up with all your favourite Trek characters from the original series, unless your favourite character happens to be Chekov. For myself, I give it a solid 7/10.

April Bonus Review: Daria

Daria is an American animated show from the late 90’s to early 00s. It ran for five series and two films. Which will all be included in this review. It was a spin-off of the show, Beavis and Butthead. Now, I have seen a bit of Beavis and Butthead. My very broad opinion on it is basically, it’s one of those comedies you need to be in the mood for and can’t watch much of in one seating. So, let’s see how Daria compares.

Story:

Our tale opens with Daria Morgendorffer and her family moving to Lawndale. When she starts at her new school, she’s immediately labeled as a potential miscreant and sent to a self-esteem class where she meets Jane Lane. The two become fast friends and navigate the turbulent nonsense of High School life together with the weapons of detachment and sarcasm. Each episode basically covers some scenario in their High School experience or in dealing with their families. Until it culminates in the final film “Is it College Yet?” where they solidify their plans for higher education and graduate.

Within the series, there is one awkward episode that doesn’t really fit or work well. That episode is “Depth Takes a Holiday” from the third series. In this one, Cupid and the world’s tallest Leprechaun approach Daria to help them convince Christmas, Halloween and Guy Fawkes Day to return to holiday island. And if that premise wasn’t already dumb enough on its own, the episode is also light on the sarcasm and witticisms that make the rest of the show so enjoyable. It almost comes across as an episode the writers didn’t want to do but they had to because someone higher up was demanding a holiday episode.

With that negative out of the way, I actually loved this cartoon. The humour is based around making sarcastic comments and some rather dry witticisms to the dumb shit you see. Which is very much my type of comedy. I also appreciate that things do advance. This isn’t one of those American comedic cartoons that sticks vehemently to the status quo. We see growth in Daria’s interactions with her family. We see changes around the school that stick.

Characters:

The cast in this is fantastic. Not just the major characters like Daria and Jane, but the side characters. They all have quirks that make them entertaining but enough depth that they have some verisimilitude as characters. The interactions are pretty spectacular and they lead to a lot of funny moments. The big draw is going to be Daria and Jane’s strong friendship but there are also some very interesting dynamics with their families, their teachers and their classmates.

The way Daria’s relationship with her sister Quinn starts to noticeably improve in the last series is really compelling. I can also appreciate the way Jodie’s relationship with Daria is clearly based off of mutual respect but it’s also pretty quickly established that there are some definite differences in how they see things with Daria being more idealistic and Jodie more pragmatic.

Probably the biggest issue is with some characters, most notably Mac, who undergo significant changes between their early and later appearances. Not due to character development, rather due to the writers clearly not knowing what they wanted to do with them initially. It’s not too much of an issue since the characters it happens with are more minor and they pretty quickly settle on a direction for them, but it is noticeable.

Art:

I do think that Daria has some strong character designs and excellent visual gags. Including the ending theme tune and its little dress up game with various characters.

That being said, the show’s animation can be a bit choppy and there are some clear moments of laziness. To use an obvious example, Quinn and her friends in the fashion club are major side characters but, like every character, they mostly wear the same outfits at all times. Which you’d think wouldn’t be the case for girls who are super into fashion.

Sound:

The acting is well done. Tracy Grandstaff does a fantastic job of maintaining a detached monotone except in certain circumstances when the character lets down her guard and shows more emotion. And it’s not easy to convincingly pull off that type of character when their mask cracks. Wendy Hoopes is actually brilliant, pulling off Jane, Helen Morgendorffer and Quinn. And you would never guess the same actress was voicing all three of those characters while watching the show. The music is solid as well. The “Standing on my Neck” theme tune is well composed.

Areas of Improvement:

1. Lose the stupid holiday episode. It doesn’t have the humour that the rest of the show and it really doesn’t fit.
2. Figure out what you want to do with your major supporting characters before introducing them. I get it, Mac isn’t a major character but his characterisation still could have been handled better if the writers had decided what his deal was before introducing him.
3. Teenagers wear multiple outfits. I understand, in cartoons like this it’s kind of standard to give every character a look that they largely maintain. But it kind of doesn’t work when you have these four fashion obsessed girls who are super into buying new clothes that they inexplicably never wear.

Final Thoughts:

While this isn’t the greatest American cartoon I’ve ever seen in my life, I actually do love it. It perfectly fits my sense of humour. The characters are fantastic. They have great interactions and dynamics. And its few miss-steps aren’t enough to really weaken the show. Ultimately, I’ll give the whole thing an enthusiastic 9/10. I’d happily recommend it to anyone with a more sarcastic sense of humour and politely suggest skipping that one episode.

January Bonus Review: She-Ra & The Princesses of Power series 1 & 2

Since we’re getting towards the end of fantasy month, it feels appropriate to look at something fantasy related. The reason I chose the She-Ra reboot is that I’ve seen it lauded as a rare example of a reboot done well and I’ve heard it has a shit tonne of ho-yay and we love our well done ho-yay. That being said, I have to confess to something before I start.

I don’t know that much about the original She-Ra. The cartoon started before I was born and ended when I was all of one. As far as I know, it never really made it big over here either. Maybe in the States She-Ra and He-Man were big, marketable successes but I don’t think that carried over. Then again, it was before my time so maybe they did have some success and I’m just not aware of it. I have seen a little bit of both She-Ra and He-Man, but they both struck me as mediocre cartoon series with low quality animation and bland writing. So, I never watched that much.

Now, you’d think that would make a fairly low bar to clear but then you look at the reboots of things like Lost in Space or the live action based off of those cheesy Archie comics and see how shite they are and you realise that sometimes even relatively low bars become insurmountable due to sheer incompetence. But this is supposed to be a reboot done well, so let’s see how it does.

Story:

Adora is a promising young horde soldier. She’s been raised by the sorceress, Shadow Weaver, for great things. And with her closest, more than friend Catra by her side it seems like nothing can go wrong. That is until the pair of them find a mysterious sword in the woods and it calls to Adora, leading her to take the mantle of She-Ra, princess of power, and join with the rebellion against the horde. The first series has an arc about Adora learning about her powers and building a new princess alliance with her companions, Glimmer and Bow. The second series doesn’t really have an arc. It’s mainly used for set up.

I have two issues with the writing. The first is that the second series just seems to end abruptly with nothing major happening. It has some good episodes, certainly. The finale with Bow’s dads is really good. The one where the princesses and Bow spend most of the episode goofing around with impractical plans is actually really funny. But it doesn’t feel like a proper series. In the first series, there’s a big climactic moment at the end and a satisfying arc. In the second, there are a bunch of episodes that you could basically watch in any order and it wouldn’t matter and it ends on a cliffhanger. My second issue is that some aspects of the plot rely on the characters being dumb for no reason. Take the beginning when Adora is first brought to Bright Moon and, instead of having her change her clothes, she just stays in her horde soldier garb and it leads to an immediate and completely avoidable misunderstanding. While those moments aren’t common, they are glaringly obvious when they happen.

With those complaints out the way, I will admit that I actually kind of love the writing in this series. There’s a lot of really strong build up. The world building is fantastic. The sense of humour is very much perfect for me. It’s very similar to the witty dialogue Gail Simone uses for comedic effect in her comics combined blended with the kind of quirky situations and characters you’d get in the Big Hero 6 cartoon. There’s a lot of intrigue and sources of tension. With the original, I watched a bit and didn’t really care to see more. With this one I watched an episode and got really hooked. It’s also charming as hell.

Characters:

I quite like the cast in this and it’s not just their funny quirks that make them endearing or their really strong interactions. It’s that these characters have a genuine sense of complexity. From what little I saw of the original, the villains seemed to be evil for the sake of being evil and the heroes were just kind of trite archetypes.

In this one, the antagonists have actual motivations and likeable traits. Take Scorpia. She’s a villain, but she’s also fiercely loyal to her friends and a self-described “hugger.” She’s like that friend who’s a bit too touchy feely but you still appreciate and value them because you know you can always count on them. The only antagonist who doesn’t seem to have many redeeming qualities at this point is Hordak himself but I think part of that is that the series has only hinted at his motivations and he’s largely been a shadowy figure.

The strong bond between Catra and Adora is particularly interesting. And I’m not saying that because it oozes les-yay. I’m saying that because the fact that they were very close and ended up being torn apart because Catra wanted to follow her ambitions and Adora wanted her conscience leads to a lot of strong, heartfelt moments where they reflect on what they had, there are clearly some regrets. It also helps add depth to Catra’s character since a lot of her worst moments don’t come across as her just being evil, but seem to stem from bitterness over feeling that Adora abandoned her.

The protagonists are interesting as well. One thing I’ll fully credit this cartoon with is that it can give you very limited time with a character and not only make an impression with that character but also imbue them some complexity. Characters like Netossa, Spinnerella, Madame Razz and Bow’s Dads are all great examples since they all have very limited screen time but they all have some verisimilitude and enough strong moments to make them memorable.

The only character I kind of dislike is Swift Wind. His whole thing is that he’s a talking horse with higher reasoning skills who wants to liberate the other horses and act like the over-exuberant kid sidekick. As a consequence. there are times where he really comes across as a bit obnoxious and just like the writers are trying to hard to make him the “fun” character.

Art:

The art style in this kind of reminds me of the Big Hero 6 cartoon with the way characters move and the general aesthetic but the characters in this don’t have the issue with the weird looking super toothy smiles. The action sequences and backgrounds all look good.

For the sake of being thorough, I did check the original character designs and compare them to the new ones and I honestly think they did a great job with updating the designs for the modern era, adding some diversity both in terms of character ethnicities and in terms of general appearances. In the old series, most of the characters look like reskins with the exact same builds and faces. In the new version, they each have their own unique look. Which I can appreciate.

Sound:

The acting is pretty good. Maybe not among the best performances in a cartoon but they’re a leap above being merely serviceable. Aimee Carrero, AJ Michalka, Karen Fukuhara, Marcus Scribner, Lorraine Toussaint, Lauren Ash… they’re all good in this. And Keston John does manage to sound good and intimidating in his role. The music is decent enough. It gets the job done. Though I wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it on its own.

Ho-yay:

There is actually a lot. Adora and Catra seem to have feelings that go deeper than friendship. Bow has two dads and they’re pretty adorable. Netossa and Spinnerella are blatantly a couple. Scorpia comes across as having a bit of a crush on Catra. So, those are the big, notable examples we have in two series.

Areas of Improvement:

1. I would have liked to see the second series do something major with its climax instead of being purely build up.
2. Let your characters think. I don’t mind comic relief and your characters occasionally doing something dumb in the pursuit of that, but I also don’t think you should have plot points that revolve around your characters doing something blatantly dumb like not changing out of their totally conspicuous clothes and into something a bit better.
3. Tone the stuff with Swift Wind down a bit.

Final Thoughts:

I actually really enjoyed this series. I can understand why it’s given as an example of a good reboot. It has charm, a strong sense of adventure, a really fantastic cast of characters with great interactions and there’s just a lot to recommend it. I’m going to give it a 9/10. And I almost went higher but the things that held back the first two series were a bit too substantial. But I’m still definitely going to watch the other three series.

May Bonus Review: Song of the South

It’s a well known fact that old Disney films have a casual racism problem. Whether it’s the crows in Dumbo, the portrayal of native peoples in Peter Pan or the notorious centaur scene in Fantasia. One film that gets mentioned a lot in this context is 1946’s Song of the South. So, why am I reviewing it? Because it’s one of the common choices for their worst films. So, let’s see if it’s as bad or worse than The Little Mermaid.

Story:

Our tale takes place on a Plantation during the American Reconstruction. A family takes their young son there due to some kind of issue the father’s involved in. He leaves his wife and son behind while he goes to sort the situation. His son meets a friendly story teller named Uncle Remus who helps him come to terms with the problems he’s encountering by telling him stories of the Brer Rabbit.

So, the film has some stereotyping but it’s honestly nowhere near as racist as I expected from hearing people talk about it. Certainly not as bad as two of the films I mentioned in the opening. Honestly, I suspect its reputation comes not from the actual content of the film, but from the fact that it’s banal. All the characters are living very mundane, mostly happy lives. The whole plot is basically this boring ass kid getting attached to a kindly old man and his mother not approving. Not because Remus is black, but because she thinks his stories are a bad influence. The whole thing is very safe and not compelling. In contrast, Peter Pan and Dumbo both have a lot of elements people really like. Which means that most people are going to excuse their casual racism more.

The best part of this film is the animated segments. And those come across as cheap, knock offs of Warner Brothers cartoons. With Brer Rabbit being a significantly less entertaining and endearing version of Bugs Bunny. And yes, I know that the folk tale version of the Brer Rabbit is much older than Bugs. I’m just making a statement on the quality of the animated shorts.

Characters:

The characters in this are dull as dirt. Uncle Remus is the cloying, kindly old man. Cloying to the point where he gets unreasonably upset at the prospect that he could be causing problems with his stories. The kids are just slightly obnoxious kids. The parents and grandmother are basically nothing characters who just advance the plot by doing parent/ grandparent things.

Art, Cinematography, Visuals & Effects:

The artwork in the animated segments is certainly dated by today’s standards. For 1946, however, it’s pretty well done. And the blending of cartoons and live action, while very awkward by today’s standards, was impressive for that time period.

Acting & Music:

The best actor in this film, by far, is James Baskett. He just has a strong delivery and seems to be having a grand old time during the happy segments. Most of the adult actors just don’t seem to give a shit. You’d swear they were only in this film because they really needed the money or possibly because Disney kidnapped them and forced them to do it. The child actors are pretty bad. Their performances are just awkward. Harve Foster directed the live action segments, but doesn’t seem to have done a good job. The music is just mediocre. The most memorable song is Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah, which isn’t a particularly good song. It’s just kind of catchy.

Final Thoughts:

Honestly, I was going to do my usual “Areas of Improvement” segment, but a lot of this film’s biggest problems are it showing its age and it seems a bit fruitless to point them out especially given how obvious they are. So, is this film really all that bad? Not really. It’s banal. It’s trying very hard to be as safe as possible. And that makes it boring. If not for the old-fashioned, casual Disney racism, I’d call this a 5/10. As is, I’ll give it a 4/10. It’s probably not an old Disney film you’d want to track down, but they’ve definitely made worse.